


A Tale of Flowers

by Tempestas_D_Uzu



Series: A Thousand Lifetimes [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anders Being Anders, Anders is Innocent, BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Blood and Injury, Crossover Pairings, Drabbles, Dragon Age II Spoilers, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Except for all the Hawkes, F/M, Fenris Has Issues, Fenris is Bad at Feelings, Game Quotes, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Minor Character Death, Multi, Rare Pairings, Reincarnated Harry Potter, Reincarnated Lily Evans Potter, Reincarnation, Theyre still dead, Threesome - F/M/M, male hawke - Freeform, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tempestas_D_Uzu/pseuds/Tempestas_D_Uzu
Summary: Lilian DuFleur is born with hair the colour blood and a destiny on her shoulders she couldn't possibly understand; and when she stares down at the child in her arms, the memories of Lily Evans threaten to drown her.





	A Tale of Flowers

**A Tale of Flowers**

 

**I**

Lilian DuFleur was born with hair the colour of dark blood, and eyes a stunning shade of emerald. She grew up to be an adventurous girl, with a personality as uncontrollable and fiery as the shade of her hair, and a face that echoed the rumored beauty of the Ancient Elves, even if she looked mostly human.

Her father, Jaques DuFleur, did not hesitate to claim his half-elf, bastard daughter as his heiress, and Lilian spent her childhood following her father’s footsteps and learning everything he had to teach her. She learned the lessons needed to be the Lady of their family, she learned politics and tactics at her father’s knee, and when she was strong enough to hold a blade, she was learning the way of a warrior.

_Family, Duty, Honour._

Family came before everything, and when Lilian began to show magical abilities, her father had ignored what should have been his duty, and put his daughter first. Despite the fact that it could mean his death, he did not turn her in, and taught her everything he could to control her abilities, and to keep them hidden.

Lilian didn’t mind, in fact she had unnaturally good control over her magic, almost like she had learned how to wield it before.

 

**II**

Lilian was eighteen when she decided it was time to travel, and her father was accepting of her choice to see the world. He went out and bought her new armour, made from a mixture of wyvern scales and silverite chainmail, and she had taken her father’s passive protectiveness with amusement.

“Where are you planned to go, Blossom?”

Lilian smiled, looking up from the map of Thedas she had spread out across her desk, to look at her father as he awkwardly fingered the rows of books she had in her study. Her father’s pale jade eyes watching her as she compared her map to the tome she had open next to her, before jotting down a few notes in her journal. “The history of Antiva has always fascinated me.” She said easily, “I’ll go north through Starkhaven, and head to Antiva from there. Maybe I’ll do some mercenary work.”

Her father chuckled, “My daughter, the historian. Make sure you say hello to Magnus when you pass through Starkhaven.” He grinned playfully, “All three of his sons are about your age.”

The crimson haired young woman rolled her eyes, “ _Really_ , Father?” She asked, amused. “Must you try to set me up with all your friends’ children?”

The older man moved forward to press a kiss to her forehead, “Lilian, my dear, you are my daughter and I love you, but I won’t live forever.” He placed his hands on her shoulders to smile at her, “I want a least one grandchild to spoil before I pass on.”

“You’re not _that_ old, Father.”

Her father smiled wistfully as he stared at her, “Life can end unexpectedly, my beautiful little flower, and you never know what you can miss out on.” He ran a hand through her hair, eyes sad. “I never had the opportunity to make your mother my wife; we loved each other, but she had no love for the life of politics and I respected her decision until the end.”

“Tell you what,” Lilian’s lips twitched, “When I come back, I’ll think about the marriage thing.”

Her father chuckled, “That’s all I ask.”

“Sometimes you ask a lot.” The redhead grouched playfully, receiving a flick to the nose from her grinning father.

“So stubborn,” He said with faux-longsuffering, “Who raised such an insolent child.”

“You did,” Lilian chirped playfully, and pecked her father on the cheek.

 

**III**

She had met Zev in her first month in Antiva, and had enjoyed the golden–haired elf’s company in the months they had trekked through the Antivan territories together. She had known that he had been hiding things from her, but she hadn’t altogether cared too much; after all, it wasn’t like she had mentioned her noble heritage. They had slept together a few times, but it was more of a friends with benefits thing than a real romance, and they had gone their separate ways when another elf had appeared who, according to Zev, was a messenger for his employer.

It was seven months after Zev had left that Lilian had found herself, sweaty and exhausted, staring down at the ruddy face of a wailing child in her arms as memories flooded her mind; memories of Lily Evans, an abnormal girl born to a normal family, of the girl who became a woman and died to protect her son. She remembered every life that had come before, she remembered the Debt, and when she looked down at the child in her arms, she remembered Harry.

He took more after his father, something that seemed to happen a lot in every life they lived through, with a tuft of wheat-gold hair, skin that was already starting to show a healthy golden complexion and little pointed ears, but she knew that he would grow to have the same green eyes she did, because in every life, her child was reborn with the same emerald green eyes as the first life.

Lilian bent over, gently pressing her lips against her quieting son’s forehead and running her nose through his golden hair. “Welcome to the world, Hauen.” She whispered, and watched as her son’s eyes fluttered open to study her with look that would be too intelligent and too aware on any other baby, but on her son was a comfort, because this was _her_ son, _Lily Evans’_ son.

_Her golden son._

 

**IV**

“Well, you wanted a grandchild.” Lily said easily as she adjusted little Hauen in her arms so he could study his new home with big green eyes. “This is Hauen, my son.”

Her father stared, pale eyes shifting from his daughter to his grandson, mouth opening and closing, before he finally let out a small gust of breath. His eyes softened, “May I hold him?”

Lily smiled, gently passing her son into her father’s arms, and watched as Hauen blinked bright green eyes up at his grandfather. She watched as her father’s face softened as Hauen cooed, and the man lifted his grandson closer to his face, “Like father, like daughter, I’d say.” He said in faint amusement as he studied the pointed tips of the tiny baby’s ears, “Hello, Hauen.” Her father’s jade eyes were soft, “I’m your grandfather.”

“Aho,” Hauen cooed, and a pudgy fist gripped his grandfather’s nose in greeting.

Lily laughed.

(Lord Jaques DuFleur would pass on three years later, living to see his grandson turn four before his heart gave out on him, and both Lily and Hauen would mourn the loss of such a kind man. But they would move on, because they both knew that was just the way of life, no matter how much it hurt.)

 

**V**

Reincarnation was a funny thing, and being at the mercy of Death was an even funnier situation; or at least that was the way the soul of Lily Evans saw it after the first hundred or so lifetimes. When she had contracted Death to trade her life for her son’s protection, Lily Evans had never thought that she would find herself in her situation, but for Harry, her beautiful little baby boy who had her eyes, Lily would have destroyed the world.

She would have never thought that her child would end up with the same curse she had, and as angry as it made her that her baby had had to sacrifice himself for others to live, she could never be angry at him; he was such a brave, foolish boy who wanted to protect those he cared about and had been led to believe the loss of his life would be the only way to accomplish that.

The first time her memories of Lily Evans had come back to her had been alarming, and it was a painful experience every time after, but Death was not a cruel being, and no matter how many lives she lived, she would have her child with her.

The souls Lily Evans and Harry Potter had been trapped in an endless loop of reincarnations for a countless number of lives, serving Death for the debts they had wracked up in their first lives. They still had the freedom that came with being living beings, but there were things that would be changed by their mere presence in the many different worlds Death sends them to.

They may never join their loved ones in the oblivion of death, but they would always have each other, and it was good enough for them.

 

**VI**

“You’re the Hawkes.”

Garrett pasted a playful grin on his face as he turned around to face the speaker, Fenris and Varric going quiet behind him as Carver crossed his arms over his chest with an annoyed grunt. “Depends on who’s asking.” The dark haired apostate countered.

The red haired woman stared back at him with bright green eyes; she was dressed like she was ready to march into battle, wearing a form-fitting leather vest and pants, with chainmail sleeves and armored boots. There was an expensive-looking sword at her waist, and Garrett’s trained eyes could make out the runes running along the blade.

Sharp eyes flickered across his frame, then him brother’s, before moving onto Fenris and Varric, “You worked for mercenaries for the past year; two of their best.” She stated bluntly, gripping the pommel of her sword as she frowned, and Hawke hoped she wasn’t coming to them looking for revenge. “Forgive me, but I’m not in a joking mood. I need your help, and I’ll pay you too.”

Garrett relaxed for a moment as he rose an eyebrow, shifting his weight but never letting his smile waver, “I’m pretty good at helping, if I do say so myself, especially when there’s coin involved.”

“My son is missing.”

The oldest Hawke sibling straightened, smile gone; she didn’t look much older than he did, so her son couldn’t be very old, and missions involving children were always hard for him. He loved kids, and hated seeing them in pain. “What do you know?”

The young woman’s lips curled in an expression Garrett was much more used to seeing on Fenris, her green eyes flashing in anger. “ _Slavers_.” She spat, “Hauen slipped away from me in the market for a moment and slavers snatched him.” She then closed her eyes taking in a slow shaking breath, and when she opened them, she looked calmer, but her eyes still burned like green fire. “Hauen is young and adventurous, I made sure he could defend himself. He managed to kill one, and left me a trail. He’s smart and resourceful, but he’s still just a little boy.” Her fists clenched and she glared at the ground. “I followed the trail to the Darktown docks, but there were too many of the bastards crawling around for me to take by myself without risking Hauen getting hurt.”

“How old is the kid?” Varric asked, and the woman turned her stare to the blond dwarf.

“Seven.” She admitted, “With a kid as pretty as Hauen, with that much curiosity, in a place like this, I made sure he knew where to stab with a knife to do the most damage.” At the looks she was getting from Carver, her lips twitched ever so faintly, “He takes after his father too much.”

Garrett chuckled faintly, then his eyes sharpened. “What can you tell us about where he’s being held?”

“There’s an abandoned warehouse by the docks,” She said immediately, “It’s crawling with them – easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for. And all the warehouses in this city have the same general layout.”

“We’ll take the job.” Garrett said, and as much as he wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t need a payment for saving a little kid, he really needed the coin.

The woman with the crimson hair nodded, her eyes thankful. “Thank you. All of you.” She breathed, tense figure relaxing slightly. “I – call me Lily, and if this goes well… anything you need, _anything_ at all, just ask. My son means everything to me.”

“Well, Lily,” Garrett drawled, grinning once more. “Can you keep a secret?”

 

**VII**

“She wasn’t kidding, you know.” Varric said quietly as they followed behind the crimson haired woman. “About getting you _anything_.” Garrett hummed, slanting a look towards the Dwarven rogue, and Varric grinned. “That’s Lady Lilian DuFleur – noble and personal friend of the Viscount.” The blond told him, “The DuFleurs hold nobility in the Free Marches and in Orlais, and have recently gained the favour of Queen Anora of Fereldan for their aide in the Blight recovery. Lily here, and her son, are the last of House DuFleur.” The dwarf sounded faintly impressed, “She’s got the Viscount’s ear, the Queen’s gratitude, and rumour has it she’s a direct relative of the Empress.”

“I doubt those slavers know just _who_ they grabbed.” Garrett admitted with a quiet whistle, and Varric nodded.

“Get on her good side, and she could single-handedly get you your family’s lands and titles back, _easily_.”

“Not doing it for that.” Garrett pointed out, and he meant every word of it. “I like gold, don’t get me wrong, and getting the Amell manor back into mother’s hands would be great – but the kid is _seven_.” He frowned slightly, “Feels wrong getting paid to save him from slavery.”

Varric grinned, and Garrett could feel Fenris’ gaze drilling into the back of his head. He turned, meeting the white haired elf’s green eyes to see the quiet approval burning in his stare. Carver huffed next to him, grumbling under his breath about his older brother’s bleeding heart, but the older man knew his younger brother wasn’t putting any actual heat behind his complaints.

 

**VIII**

Between the five of them, it was pretty easy to fight through the hordes of slavers and summoned demons, and Garrett could see what Lily had meant by her statement about the warehouse crawling with the lowlifes.

He and his companions had not gone easy on them, and Fenris had been the one to land the final blow on the leader, tearing the man’s heart from his chest and crushing it in his fist.

(Garrett _probably_ shouldn’t have found that as hot as he had.)

“Huh, a literal heart stealer.” Lily mused, not at all fazed, before brushing past them to make a b-line for a large crate, tearing the top from the wooden structure to pull a tiny bound figure from the inside. She quickly pulled the hood from the child’s head, exposing him to the group.

 _Huh_ , Lily hadn’t been lying about having a pretty son, and Garrett absently noted the kid would probably grow up to be a heartbreaker. Wheat gold curls covered the top of his head, and his skin held a natural golden tan; he had a face that could have given away his elven heritage with a human softness to his chubby cheek and round chin. Pointed ears poked out from his curly hair, and big green eyes, clearly inherited from his mother, blinked, dazed, as Lily made quick work of the gag in his mouth and the rope tied around his thin wrists.

There was a nasty-looking bruise on the kid’s brow that surrounded a jagged gash of split skin that travelled from his hairline down through his eyebrow, stopping just short of his actual eyes, and from the slanting of the young boy’s shoulder, it looked like the slavers hadn’t bothered to be gentle.

“ _Mama_?” The little boy slurred, pupils dilated alarmingly as his head lolled, an attempt to see what was going on around him. “’M don’t feel too good. Head hurts.”

A concussion, from the looks of it.

“ _Bastards_ ,” Lily muttered, gently gathering her son into her arms, “Stay awake Hauen, I’ll have you fixed right up.”

Hauen blinked, head slipping into the crook of his mother’s neck as she turned to Garrett and his companions, her lips thin and pale. “They _drugged_ him.” She hissed furiously, turning her eyes towards the body of the lead slaver with such a burning hatred that Garrett thought she was considering reanimating the corpse, just so she could rip it limb from limb.

(He really need to stop finding things like grisly death hot – _okay_ , maybe it was more the people enacting the violent dismemberment he found attractive, but it didn’t help his claims that he was perfectly sane – _thank you very much_ – just a little unhinged)

“We know a good healer in the area.” Garrett offered, and Lily’s eyes softened.

“Show me.”

 

**VIII**

Hauen was staring at her.

Lilian looked up from her paperwork to meet her son’s green eyes as her tiny son tried to peer seriously at her over the edge of her desk.

A desk that was much taller than her son.

He was healing well after his run in with the slavers, and she had made sure he had been resting in the last week, but not even the best healer could fix everything, and the lightning-shaped gash on his forehead would scar. Lily was thankful for Anders’ expertise in healing, because there would be no other physical side effects to Hauen’s kidnapping.

“Yes, Hauen?” Lily asked in amusement as she pulled the small boy onto her lap, gently carding her fingers through his thick hair.

“You find them _interesting_.” Hauen said, smirking slightly as his mother’s chin settled in his golden curls. “You wouldn’t let them drag you out on missions, otherwise.”

“They’ve caught my attention, I’ll admit.” Lily agreed in amusement.

“You’re fond of them already.”

“I am.” She laughed, “It’s hard not to be.”

Hauen narrowed his eyes at her thoughtfully, before he said, “We should invite them for dinner, sometime.”

“ _Oh_?”

“It’s like to meet them,” He grinned, “When I’m not drugged up to the gills.”

Lily snorted.

 

**IX**

Being invited for dinner was an odd experience for Fenris, but he had gone along with it when Hawke had told his companions of the standing invitation to the DuFleur estate in thanks for their help in rescuing Lady DuFleur’s son.

The son that was currently staring up at him with serious green eyes.

Fenris fought down the desire to shift away from the boy as he looked down to meet his stare. “ _What_?” He asked gruffly, in an attempt to get the child to just leave him alone because the agelessness of the boy’s gaze was honestly a little off-putting.

The boy suddenly grinned, “I like you.” He stated, and Fenris blinked as the child all-but attached himself to his side, tiny hands gently reaching up to grasp his gauntlets.

Fenris was too surprised by the action to even flinch away from the boy, and found he couldn’t bring himself to shake off the child’s soft grip. There was something innocent and comforting in the way his small fingers curled into Fenris’ palm, it made him think of happier times that he couldn’t quite remember, and Fenris let out a sigh.

“I’m Hauen.” The child said simply as he turned and led Fenris farther into the estate, both ignoring the looks of the others.

“Fenris.” The warrior grunted, and was gifted with a dimpled beam from the small blond haired child.

Suddenly, his smile turned mischievous, and the boy looked over his shoulder to meet his mother’s gaze where she stood next to Hawke. “We should definitely keep these ones.”

The woman laughed.

 

**X**

It was on a mission that Lily’s magic came to light.

Following Garrett, Fenris, Isabela, and the young, nervous Dalish mage, Merill, up the mountain, Lily had no idea she had been agreeing to run head-first into a graveyard of ancient elves ready to rise from the ground and attack any poor passerby that just happened to stumble upon them.

There had been a corpse slipping below Fenris’ guard, the elven warrior too busy with the two in front of him to notice the third coming up behind him, and Lily threw her hand out, using a shove of pure magic to send all three around the white haired elf sprawling, and with a quick kick and decapitation, her own foe was downed for good.

“You’re a _mage_!” Fenris sounded betrayed, speaking as soon as the last reanimated corpse dropped and turned to ash.

Lily quickly sheathed her blade, turning to look at the elf as he approached. “I am.” She stated neutrally, and his green eyes flashed – he looked both angry and hurt, and Lily sighed.

_Please don’t let this be another Petunia situation._

“I’m sorry if you’re hurt that I didn’t tell you, Fenris,” Lily told him quietly, “And I understand you’ve had bad experiences with mages, but I don’t want to be hated for the way I was born.” Her green eyes were pleading, and she could see Fenris hesitating; he had already gotten to know her without her magic influencing his opinion, but he felt betrayed by her secret, she could tell by his expression. “But we really should continue this later, when we’re not on a quest.”

Fenris scowled, but nodded jerkily, turning away from her.

A hand landed on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Garrett looking at her with knowing eyes and a small, sad smile. “He’ll come around.” He told her quietly, and with a small pat on her shoulder he moved past her and towards the altar on the edge of the cliff.

 

**XI**

Lilian looked up as Joren led Fenris into her study, and smiled at her chamberlain.

The aging elf bowed politely as he entered, “Serrah Fenris to see you, Lady DuFleur.” The man, who had been in her household since she was a young girl, only a servant back then but now promoted, glanced from Fenris to Lily with worried amber eyes, and Lily nodded.

“Thank you, Joren.” Lily said kindly, the turned her gaze to Fenris, “Would you like anything? A drink, some food?” When the green eyed elf didn’t answer, Lily looked back to Joren, “Could you ask the kitchen for some wine and crackers, Joren? Just something small for now, please.”

“Of course, my lady.” The gray haired elf bowed again, and exited the room, leaving the two in awkward silence.

“You’re a mage.” Fenris at least sounded calmer, and Lily could probably thank her lucky stars for the fact.

Lily dipped her head in a nod, “Would you like to sit?” She offered, nodding to one of the plush chairs near the crackling fireplace. She spoke again when Fenris sat, and small sigh leaving her lips. “I was four when I first started using magic,” She admitted, “I was scared, so I hid it. Kirkwall isn’t a kind place for people like me,” The young woman shrugged slightly, “I’m lucky enough to have been born into a noble family, but mages aren’t treated well. Kirkwall is the worst place to be if you have magic.” Fenris watched her quietly as she talked. “My father, when he found out, should have reported me to the Templars, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to loose me. Instead, he impressed upon me the need for silence and secrecy. I have very good control over my magic, so I never really found the need to ever use it, but I do know how.”

“Your father hid you.”

“No, just my magic.” Lily smiled sadly, “But… magic is a part of me, it’s not something that can be repressed. I wasn’t lying to you when I told you that a didn’t want to be hated for the way I was born, and I truly am sorry for hiding it, but I want to be known for who I am. I never wanted magic to colour the way people see me, but I also never meant to keep it a secret.” She went quiet at the knock on the doors, and a quick “Enter!” Saw Joren and one of her younger maids, Lora – a young teenager she had found in the slums and given a job – entering.

“Your wine and crackers, my lady.” Lora said as she poured a goblet for Lily and her guest.

“Thank you, Lora.” Lily smiled, taking the goblet, and when she had passed the second the red head continued, “Why don’t you take the rest of the night off, go treat yourself to something nice.”

The younger woman blushed in surprise, “A-are you sure?” She asked, and Lily nodded.

“You’ve been working hard, you deserve it. Go have fun, make friends.”

Lora beamed, “Thank you!” She said brightly, before bowing and hurrying from the room, bumping into the door frame with a surprised squeak as she did so, and Lily smiled in amusement as she lifted her wine to her lips.

“That was kind of you, my lady.” Joren said, his own lips twitching, and Lily inclined her head.

“She’s come far, she’s earned it.” Lilian acknowledged, “Could you fetch her some coins? Enough for a night on the town, please, Joren.”

“Of course, my lady.”

“Thank you, Joren. You’re excused.”

Joren bowed once more, and gracefully made his way from the room.

Fenris’ gaze seared into the side of her head, and Lily turned her attention back to the tattooed elf.

“Good wine.” He admitted, and Lily smiled, lifting her goblet in a playful toast.

“Better company.”

Fenris stared at her, green eyes unreadable as he took a small sip of his wine, before inclining his head in a small nod. “There is that.” He said quietly, “I still don’t trust your magic,” His voice was stronger as he continued, “But… I would like to believe I can trust you.”

“Thank you.” Lily’s lips quirked, eyes turning playful. “What changed your mind?” As jokingly as the words were stated, his green eyes were serious as he stared back at her, studying her face.

“You.”

 

**XII**

“Good luck.”

Garrett turned from Varric and the rest of the expedition as Lily approached, Hauen a step behind her as she made her way towards him. The apostate grinned, “Considering how bad my luck is, I’m going to need all the well wishes I can get.”

The noble smiled, eyes shining in amusement as she spoke. “Then I’ll give you all of mine; it’s not much, I’m afraid, but if our previous quests mean anything, it’s more than you.”

“Fair enough, good lady.” He dipped into a playful bow, blue eyes marry as he lifted her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “May you perhaps gift this simple adventurer with your token?”

“Oh, I’m not sure,” She smirked, glancing down to her son as she spoke, “Do you think I should gift our brave explorer with my token, Hauen?”

The young boy grinned, “I think he’s earned _something_ , at least.”

The red haired woman laughed, before gently pulling the silver ribbon at the end of her braid from her hair, allowing it to fall free around her like a curtain of crimson as she gently took his hand to fasten the ribbon around his wrist. “There, sir explorer, take my token as a symbol of good grace, and go forth to victory.”

Garrett let out a booming laugh, and Lily released a quiet snort of amusement, then went silent, peering up at him from beneath thick lashes as she placed a hand on his bicep, a small frown tugging at her lips.

“Seriously, Garrett, look after yourself out there.” She said, “Keep yourself, and the others safe. Make sure you come back.”

The dark haired apostate sobered, but he didn’t let his smile drop as he placed a large hand over Lily’s, completely dwarfing her own. “I will.” He told her, and the noble’s lips quirked.

“Good luck.” She said again, before pulling away to move towards the other three members of his party, leaving Garrett with Hauen.

“So you’re going.” The young boy said, looking almost petulant as he stared up at him with his mother’s green eyes.

“Yeah, kid.”

“You better come back.” The blond scowled, before scampering over the snatch Garrett’s hand to stare up at him with serious eyes. “Cause my mum’ll be sad if you don’t.” His eyes narrowed, “And if you make her sad, I’ll bring you back to life so she can kick your ass.”

Garrett had to fight down the laugh that bubbled up in his throat at the young boy’s swearing, “You’ve been spending too much time with Fenris, midget.”

“ _Vishante kaffas_!” Hauen scoffed, face twisting into a perfect copy of Fenris’ ‘ _you stupid piece of shit’_ face, and Garrett gave in and laughed, ruffling the kid’s wild curls.

“You’re something, alright, Kid.” Garrett chuckled, “But don’t worry, I pick my companions for their stubbornness – we’re all too hard headed to die.”

Hauen stared at him for a few seconds longer, before nodding his head and pressing something into Garrett’s hand, “You’ll have to make sure to bring that back, it’s my favourite.” He stated, before turning and fleeing back to his mother, leaving Garrett to peer down at what he had given him.

It was a locket, a pretty little silverite thing with the seal of the DuFleur Family on the front. He gently unclipped the clasp to peer at the inside, and found himself looking at a small portrait of Lily and Hauen.

Garrett smiled slightly, before fastening the locket around his neck and clipping it closed.

 

**XIII**

“It’s really not healthy to leave all these bodies laying around.”

Fenris glanced towards the doorway, pausing with wine in hand as Lilian slipped into the room the white haired elf had claimed as his own, a small smirk on her lips as she sauntered forward. The elf chuckled, taking a quick mouthful of his wine before turning back to the red head, “To what do I owe the pleasure, Lady DuFleur?” His lips twitched.

“Can’t I come visit my second favourite pointy-eared man?” Lily asked as she sat down across from him, and Fenris raised an eyebrow.

“Only second?”

She laughed, green eyes sparkling in the dim lighting. “I’m afraid no one will ever fully replace Hauen in my heart.”

“I have no doubt.” He snorted, taking another sip of his wine as he studied the red head across from him. She had brought her own wine, and had joined him in his drinking as her green eyes swept across the room, and he watched as her tongue shot out to catch an escaped droplet of wine before it rolled off her lip.

He jerked his eyes away quickly as her attention turned back to him, and her eyebrows drew together. “I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I? I can leave if I am.”

“No!” Fenris coughed, eyes snapping back to the red head as she tilted her head, waves of loose crimson hair cascading over her shoulder, exposing her pale throat. He cleared his throat, gaze moving up to meet hers, “ _No_ , it’s fine.”

Lily blinked, but smiled slightly, “Alright.”

 

**XIV**

Garrett’s party returned, but Carver didn’t.

The last of the Hawke siblings sat, completely oblivious of the rain pouring around him, as he stared blankly at his hands – the hands that had killed his baby brother, the baby brother he had promised his mother he would bring back safe.

Another failure.

Mother was right, he should have protected him.

_It should have been him._

He buried his head in his hands – the hands that had his brother’s blood on them – and let out a strangled sob, a noise drowned out by the thundering of the downpour around him.

“Garrett?” He looked up as the rain stopped hitting his head, to find Lily leaning over him, holding her umbrella over his head, the rain already beginning to soak through her thin dress, making it cling to her wet skin as she stared at him with worried eyes.

Garrett blinked, brows furrowing in confusion. “ _Lily_ …?”

“Look at you, completely soaked.” Lily sighed quietly, “You’re going to make yourself sick, Garrett, and then where would you be?”

He didn’t answer, instead, he drew his knees to his chest and looked down. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” Lily stated simply, “I was worried.”

“You shouldn’t be out here,” Garrett mumbled, “You’re getting wet.”

“And _you’re_ completely drenched.” The red head shot back, “Come on, on your feet.” He blinked again when a deceptively delicate hand gripped his bicep and tugged, and he went along with it numbly, staggering to his feet. “There you go. You’re coming home with me, tonight.” The hand slipped down his arm to grab his hand, and with a gentle squeeze, she began to lead.

Garrett followed.

 

**XV**

Fenris looked up from sharpening his sword as hurried footsteps started towards him.

“Fenris!” Hauen had grown in the last three years, his hair had lengthened to his shoulders and he had begun to fasten it behind his head with a red ribbon, his face, still soft from youth, was beginning to thin as he aged. His body was very much that of an elf, all slim, gangly limbs and loping grace packed into a tiny body, even as a ten year old. “You’re here!”

Seeing the passage of time on the boy was strange.

Lily chuckled into her paperwork, even as Hawke, sprawled across a love seat in the Lady DuFleur’s study, looked up with a mischievous grin.

“Hey midget!” He greeted playfully, and Hauen stuck his tongue out at the apostate, before scurrying to Fenris’ side.

“Can you teach me?” The boy asked, staring up at him with large eyes, and Fenris raised an eyebrow in question. “The sword, can you teach me?”

“You want to learn how to wield a broadsword?” Fenris asked, and Hauen nodded, emerald green eyes pleading.

“ _Please_ , Fenris?”

The white haired elf cast an eye towards the boy’s mother, and Lilian dipped her head in a nod. “I won’t be a gentle teacher.” Fenris warned, turning green eyes back to the younger elf, “I’ll expect you to work hard, and listen to everything I tell you.” Hauen nodded, curls bouncing, and Fenris’ lips twitched faintly. “Alright.”

Hauen cheered.

 

**XVI**

“You _like_ them.”

Lily chuckled as Hauen slipped into her study after Fenris and Garret had left, his green eyes shining in the light of the fire. “So do you.” She played clueless, and Hauen laughed hopping into the armchair closest to her.

“Not the same way you do.” Hauen pointed out, kicking his feet over the armrest in a move similar to how Garrett liked to sit.

“Perhaps.”

“It’s something different, at least.” Her son grinned cheekily. “Two of ‘em at once, you’re mixing things up.”

“Just trying to make life interesting.” His mother shot back, and the two shared a laugh. “Most mothers would be mortified that their ten year old son was trying to talk them into a harem.”

“Ah,” Hauen’s head rolled lazily to study her, “But we’re not _most_ , are we?”

Lily chuckled again, “No, no we aren’t.”

 

**XVII**

“Should I be jealous that I’m being left out?”

Lily swayed into the room, eyes teasing as Hawke chuckled, kicking his feet up on Fenris’ table, and Fenris himself shifted his eyes from the two of them, and towards a window.

“Three years,” The elf mused, and the red head seated herself on the wooden surface, swatting Hawke’s feet from her new perch. “Still no sign of Denarius, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s given up.”

“You almost sound disappointed. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Lilian asked, and Fenris’ eyes moved towards her, and then away once more.

“Yes, but…” He cut himself off, and green eyes moved back to the two visitors. “Tell me, what do you do when you stop running?”

“You start over,” Hawke drawled, eyes softening, and Fenris remembered the other man’s words, speaking of a home he had lost, and the new life he was forging for himself.

_Three years._

“I… don’t know how.” Fenris admitted, peering down at his palm. “My first memory is receiving these marks; the lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony wiped away everything.” He looked away again, an attempt to hide the lost expression on his face from his two closest friends. “Whatever life I had before is lost.” He shook his head, trying to dislodge the pain of his memories as he slowly pushed himself from his chair. “I shouldn’t trouble you with this, either of you, my problems are not yours.”

Lily and Hawke shared a look, and Lily was the one to speak up.

“You don’t remember who you were?” Her eyes were soft, but there was no pity, only a gentle sympathy. She was kind, almost too kind, but her comforting voice made Fenris’ shoulders relax as he looked at them.

“ _Fenris_ … is the name Denarius bestowed upon me. His little wolf.” He grunted. It felt… _good_ to talk about his troubles, and Lilian and Hawke were always there to lend an ear; honestly, it was getting to the point where he didn’t think he could imagine where his life would be without them. “If I once had another name, or a family, then they were taken from me. But, again, this isn’t your concern.”

Hawke leaned forward, a familiar little smirk on his lips as his eyebrows rose, “We might be able to help with you problems. Or give you a few more, we’re willing to share.”

Fenris paused, looking from Hawke to Lily, before he answered with a small laugh, “Only a few?”

“The good kind.” The blue eyed apostate assured him playfully, and Lily covered her laugh with her hand, green eyes sparkling in amusement.

“Tempting.” Fenris’ lips quirked, “You’re a handsome man, Hawke, is there no one else who holds… your attention?”

Hawke smirked, “Only those in the room. I’m willing to share if you are.”

 _Fasta vass_ , Hawke wasn’t kidding, and from the look in Lilian’s eyes, she agreed with the man.

“I’m an escaped _slave_ ,” Fenris shifted away, doubt rolling across his mind like a fog. His own self disgust rolled off his tongue like poison, thickening his accent as he gestured around him. “An _elf_ , living in a _borrowed_ mansion.” He shook his head, then peered at his audience, “None… of those things bother either you?”

“And _we’re_ apostate mages,” Hawke reminded him with a chuckle, “I’m a Fereldan refugee, and Lily is a half-elf noble with a ten year old son. Does any of that bother you?”

_No, no it didn’t._

“You have me there.” He stated, eyes shifting from one to the other, it finally dawning on him that the magic both could wield no longer frightened him. “You raise an interesting point, I’ll have to consider it.”

 

**XVIII**

“I was a fool to think I was free!” Fenris snarled throwing his hands into the air, “They’ll never leave me be!”

Lily stepped away from the corpse of a fallen slaver, carefully cradling a shoulder with an arrow through it as Hawke approached the fuming elf. Anders’ gentle hands probing the injury, silent as she listened in on the conversation in front of her.

“Is Hadriana someone you know?” The dark haired apostate asked as Fenris turned back towards them. She saw Fenris’ angry eyes land on her as she released a quiet hiss as Anders removed the foreign object, and she saw the way guilt made his anger burn even brighter.

“My master’s old apprentice.” Fenris turned his stare back to Garrett, “I remember her well; a sniveling social climber who would sell her own children if she thought it would please Denarius. If she’s here, it’s at his bidding. I knew he wouldn’t let this go!”

“They need to be stopped.” Lily spoke up, and Hawke nodded in agreement.

“Before this goes any further.”

 

**XIX**

Lily cried out as Hadriana’s spell caught her in the side, throwing her across the small chamber, and she slammed against the wall right as one of Garrett’s fireballs knocked the magister to the floor, her staff sliding across the stone.

Garrett was there in a heartbeat, gently pulling her to her feet and throwing her arm across her shoulder with a small, blood-splattered grin.

“ _Stop_!” The woman’s cry drew attention towards where she was cowering on the floor, Fenris looming above her, blade ready to strike. “You do not want me dead!”

Lily staggered as Garrett helped her towards Fenris and the magister, wincing when every step sent pain burning across her ribs and spine, and Fenris’ response was snarled.

“There’s only one person I want dead more.”

“I have information! I’m willing to trade it in return for my life!”

Fenris let out a bark of sarcastic laughter, “The location of Denarius? What good will that do me? I’d rather he loose his pet pupil.”

“You have a sister!” The dark haired Tevinter magister gasped fearfully, and Lily saw Fenris freeze. “She’s alive!” His blade sagged, and the woman sat up. “You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go, and I will tell you where she is!”

“How do we know you’re even telling the truth?” Lily demanded as she and Garrett came to a halt at Fenris’ side, her eyes narrowing on the sniveling woman crouched at their feet, and the hand pressed against her side glowing with healing magic.

“You don’t.” The woman chuckled, “But I know Fenris, and I know what he’s searching for! If he wants me to betray Denarius, he’ll have to pay for it!”

“It’s up to you, Fenris.” Garrett said tightly, cold blue eyes staring down at the magister.

Fenris paused, head down, and Lily watched silently as he began to walk towards his former tormentor.

“So I have your word? I tell you, and you let me live?”

Fenris agreed, voice drawling as he bent over the woman, and Lily could sense the lie in his words as Hadriana babbled her secrets. Telling of a woman named Varania, a servant instead of a slave, and the blue glow of Fenris’ marks lit up the dim chamber.

“I believe you.”

The woman’s dead body dropped to the floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hawke offered as the white haired elf brushed past them, and Fenris froze mid step, turning around to storm back towards them.

“ _No_!” Fenris gestured rudely at the dark haired mage, and Hawke dropped her arm, letting Lily stand in her own as the elven warrior ranted. “I don’t want to talk about it! This could be a trap! Denarius could have sent her here to tell me about this sister! Even if he didn’t… trying to find her would still be suicide.” He growled, but his voice was evening out, as he clenched a fist, “Denarius has to know about her, and has to know that Hadriana knows. But all that matters is that I finally got to crush this _bitch’s_ heart!” He turned away, voice deep and furious, and Lily stared silently at the back of his head. “May she rot, and all the other mages with her.”

“And here I thought you were unreasonable.” Anders grumbled under his breath, and Lily shot him a warning look as Hawke sighed and placed a hand on the furious elf’s shoulder.

“Maybe we should leave.” He suggested, only to have his hand shaken off.

“ _Don’t comfort me_!”

“Fenris-“ Lily started,

“You _saw_ what was done here!” Fenris accused, “There’s always going to be some reason, some excuse, why mages need to do this! Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her.” He quieted for only a second, before burning green eyes swung around to stare at them. “What has magic touched that it doesn’t spoil.”

The three mages were silent, and Lilian watched as realization of his words crossed the warrior’s face, eyes widening minutely as they flickered from Garrett’s unimpressed face, to Lily’s expressionless one.

“I-“ He raised a hand to his head, turning away from them as he hesitated. “Need to go.”

(They didn’t see him for a week afterwards.)

 

**XX**

Fenris was in her study when she returned, a disappointed Joren having shown him in while the lady of the House was away, and Lilian stared at him silently from the doorway, Hauen at her side.

_What has magic touched that it doesn’t spoil_

His hate-filled words rang in his head as he looked from Lily to her son; both magic, and two of the brightest people he had ever met. He thought of Hawke, his mischievous grins and bright eyes, of Lily, who always had a kind word and burned with a fierce protectiveness.

He had regretted those words the moment he had spoken them.

“Hauen, go to bed.” The young blond, looked from Fenris to his mother with sharp eyes, shooting the older elf a small frown before retreating.

The room was silent.

“My _son_ isn’t spoiled.” Lily spoke suddenly, cold eyes swinging back towards him, and Fenris cringed. “ _I’m_ not spoiled. _Garrett_ isn’t spoiled.”

“I- I am sorry.” Fenris said quietly, shoulders drooping. He had known Lilian’s forgiveness would be harder to gain than Hawke’s, but he hadn’t been completely prepared to face her anger. “I took my anger out on you, and you did not deserve it.” Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she leaned against the doorframe, face impassive. “You deserve better, both of you, I shouldn’t have done it.”

“We were worried about you.” Lily admitted moving across the threshold and into the room, but no closer. “You disappeared for a week, we didn’t know where you were, or _how_ you were.”

He didn’t deserve their worry.

“I needed to be alone.” He said quietly, and for the second time that night, he found himself admitting the truth. He told her about Hadriana’s taunts and abuses, of the gnawing hunger that would try to devour him as the magister denied him food for her own sick pleasure; she had enjoyed his pain, it made her feel empowered that she had held so much authority over him. Authority that she abused.

And as the truth fell from his lips, Lilian listened silently, until there was no more story to tell and Fenris’ voice trailed off, engulfing them in silence once more.

Lily was quiet, before she turned away from him an made her way towards the door, and Fenris’ head dropped.

She wouldn’t forgive him, he wasn’t surprised.

“Fenris,” His head snapped up, and Lily was looking at him over her shoulder as she stood in the doorway, “There’s one more thing you should know – something else that magic hasn’t ruined.” Her eyes finally met his, and she smiled sadly.

“ _You_.”

 

**XXI**

Garrett smiled as he saw Lily making her way through his entrance hall, greeting his mother with a kind smile of her own. His mother adored the red head, and doted on Hauen as if he was her own; her dropped hints about marriage and grandchildren amused him, and it was always a funny story to share with Lily when they saw each other.

Hauen darted away from his mother’s side, attaching himself to Garrett’s mother’s skirts with a gap-toothed smile, and as he was ushered away and out of the building, and Garrett knew the little fox had managed to swindle himself a nice treat.

“Little brat,” Garrett said in amusement, and Lily laughed as she made her way up the stairs.

“He learned from the best,” Her eyes sparkled as she spoke, “Every day I find him acting more and more like either you or Fenris.”

He chuckled, “So he finally stopped throwing things at Fenris?”

“He’s stubborn.” Lily laughed, “He wasn’t very pleased with him.”

“But you’ve forgiven him.” Garrett noted, and Lily’s lips twitched,

“So have you.”

“So have I.” Garrett agreed.

Lily hummed as they entered the study, “He’s angry and he let’s that consume him, as much as he doesn’t want it to.” She said quietly, “I was disappointed more than I was hurt, we both knew it would be a challenge and he’s trying to change. The things he went through will stay with him for the rest of his life, we can’t change that, no matter how hard we try.”

Garrett nodded, watching as the red head made her way towards the shelves, gently running her fingers across the spines of the books. “I’m still up for it, if you are.” Her hand froze, and she looked at him over her shoulder. He shrugged and continued, “I know we haven’t talked about it, but I was serious when I told Fenris I was willing to share, if you two were as well.”

She studied him with serious green eyes, turning around to lean her hip against his bookcase, before her lips twitched into a small grin, “I’m more than _willing_ , Garrett.”

He was moving across the room as soon as the words left her lips, hands moving to tangle in her hair and cup her cheeks as he bent down and pressed their lips together in a hungry kiss. He could feel her smile into the kiss as her hands pressed against his hips, and he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to his chest.

And then he slowly pulled away, allowing himself to breath again as he stared into Lily’s green eyes.

She grinned, lips swollen as she tilted her head playfully, “You make an interesting argument,” She teased, and Garrett snorted. “You’ll have to bring it up with Fenris, next.”

He kissed her again.

 

**XXII**

“Fenris?”

Garrett had looked up as the doors of his manor opened, allowing the white haired elf to stride into the greeting hall. He traded a look with Lily, the red haired woman pausing in her talk about the laws the Kirkwall Council wanted to introduce, then looked back to their elven companion.

“I’ve been thinking of you.” Fenris’ voice was thick and heavy as he spoke, and Garrett made his way towards the other man. “In fact, I have been able to think of _little_ else besides what you said.” He came to a stop, almost chest-to-chest with the dark haired apostate, and looked up, green eyes heated. “Command me to go, and I shall.”

Garrett’s lips twitched, and he tilted his head. “Did I say anything?”

The white haired elf jerked forward, grabbing the back of the taller man’s neck and crushing their lips together.

It definitely wasn’t as neat of a kiss as the one he had shared with Lily; it was messy, their noses bumped together and their teeth clashed with the fierceness behind it, and Garrett let out an almost surprised noise when Fenris pushed him against the wall, deepening it, and smoothing it out.

Lily’s impressed whistle caused them to break apart, and Garrett watched as Fenris’ flushed even darker. “ _Damn_ , Garrett, what did you say to him to get him _that_ worked up?” She asked, eyes shining in amusement, “When you said you were going to go _talk_ to him, I didn’t expect him to jump you.”

Garrett laughed, trapped between Fenris’ arms, before smirking at the red head, staring at her through his eyelashes. “What, you _jealous_?”

She cocked her hip, “Actually, yes, I kind of am.” With that, she was moving forward, and Fenris stepped away from him. Lily caught the elf by the shoulder, throwing her arms around his neck, but she paused, lips barely brushing his as she asked quietly, “ _May I_?”

Fenris didn’t answer verbally, instead, he ducked his head and kissed her.

 

**XXIII**

Fenris woke, images and sensations seared into his mind and his markings burning. Slamming his eyes closed once more, the elf tried desperately to either chase the fragments of memories away, or bring them back, he wasn’t completely sure, as he pressed the palms of his hands against his forehead.

The memories were fragmented, but the bits that he did see were painfully vivid and frighteningly clear.

He let his eyes slide open once more, peering at the canopy of Hawke’s bed, before letting his gaze slide towards his bed mates. The night before had been better than anything he could have imagined, but everything was moving too fast, he need to breath.

Fenris slid out of bed as smoothly as he could, feeling the expensive sheets slip off his bare skin, but not really paying attention as he numbly went through the process of collecting his armour and redressing.

He had loved it, more than he could have dreamed, but the memories were too much; it made him feel unbalanced, like he was standing on a sinking ship and was powerless to do anything but watch the water rush towards him.

He needed to leave.

 

**XXIV**

“I can’t imagine what they see in you.”

Fenris stiffened at the Abomination’s words, eyes snapping away from where he had been watching Hawke and Lilian talk, fighting down the longing he felt in his heart to glare at the blond apostate. “It is _done_ ,” He snarled, in no mood for a petty argument with the other man, “Leave it be.”

The mage glared at him, but his words were deceptively light. “Well good, I always knew he had some sense.”

Fenris growled, he had always known Anders was attracted to Hawke, and his smug attitude over the whole situation was rubbing him the wrong way. “Do not make light of this, leaving was the _hardest_ thing I’ve ever done.”

“And yet,” The mage crossed his arms over his chest, “You still left.”

He bristled, moving his attention away from Anders and back towards Hawke and Lilian just in time to meet her gaze as she looked back towards him before turning back to Hawke when he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Anders sighed, “Listen, Fenris, Hawke and Lily are my friends.” He said quietly, “I don’t know what is up with you, but they obviously still care for you, and _you_ still want _them_. You either need to pull your head out of your ass, or give them closure.”

 

**XXV**

He was the last Hawke.

Garrett sat, surrounded by the silence of his empty estate – the estate his mother had grown up in, staring listlessly at the wall, shoulders slumped, but no tears left to cry.

His _mother_ was dead, butchered and mangled by a crazy necromancer, her body too tainted by dark magic to be given a proper burial. The had burned her in the sewers, and now Garrett was the only one that remained.

“I don’t know what to say… but I am here.”

Garrett turned dead eyes to watch silently as Fenris entered his room, and he curled into himself even more as his numb lips moved. “Just say something. _Anything_.”

The silence was suffocating.

“They, er, say death is only a journey.” Fenris said awkwardly shuffling closer to him. “Does that help?”

Garrett dipped his head, an attempt to gather himself before he spoke, “I suppose they say you go back to the Maker when you die.” He himself had never been religious, but his mother had.

The bed dipped as Fenris lowered himself down beside him, voice gentle as he spoke, “I’ve heard that too.” He offered, and Garrett looked at him as he leaned back. “To be honest, I don’t think there is much point in filling these moments with empty talk.”

Garrett chuckled shakily, lips twitching sadly, and Fenris hesitantly place a hand on his knee.

There was a knock on the door, and both men looked up as Hauen entered, making a direct b-line for Garrett without saying a word as the ten year old clambered onto his lap so he could wrap thin arms around the dark haired apostate’s neck and press his face into his chest.

Lily was a step behind her son, but she paused in the doorway, studying them.

Fenris moved to get up, but Garrett caught his wrist before he could leave, and blue eyes stared pleadingly into green.

“Stay?” He asked quietly, “Just for tonight?”

Fenris hesitated, but he nodded, “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

 

**XXVI**

The city was burning, and the Qunari were killing everyone them came across.

Fighting through the hordes of Qun soldiers was a hard battle, and it was probably only thanks to Anders’ spirit healing that they had gotten as far as they had. For once it was Lily in the lead as the group fought their way through the burning city, saving everyone they could, pure determination turning her into a force of unstoppable nature, and Garrett didn’t really blame her.

Hauen was still in the city.

“- _venhedis_!”

Lily was moving just as Garrett’s eyes landed on the tiny blond child dangling from the grip of a large Qunari soldier, her blade flashing in the flames as her runes activated, allowing lightning to travel through the metal as she sliced through the Qunari’s arm, ruthlessly removing it from the body with surprising ease. In the moment of distraction Hauen moved, hands igniting in magical flames, which he shoved into the Qunari’s face.

The Qunari howled, throwing the boy away from it, before cutting off with a gurgle as Lily’s blade burst through its throat.

Fenris, faster on his feet than Hawke, darted across the space between them to catch Hauen before he could hit the ground.

“You alright there, Hauen?” Garrett asked as Lily ripped her blade from the Qunari’s body and let it drop, and the eleven year old nodded with a small wince, green eyes darting around.

“Yeah,” He said quietly, then bit his lip slightly. “They came to the manor, they knew the layout and they came in through the hidden passage.” He stated, wincing again when Fenris put him on his feet, wavering slightly. “They know what they’re looking for, they’re taking everyone important to the Keep.” Frowning, he looked to his mother, “They know who they’re looking for – somebody must have told them.”

Lily frowned, moving away from the corpse and towards her son, “Seamus converted to the Qun, he’s the only one I can think of to know everyone he should, and know the location of the escape tunnel.”

“Joren’s dead.” Hauen said, and Lily pulled him into a hug, gently running her fingers through his hair as he let out a strangled sigh pressing his face into her shoulder before pulling away again.

“Are you hurt?” Lily asked, and the kid shook his head.

“Just bumps and bruises.” He assured her, and she let out a thankful sigh. “Lost my sword though.”

With a small chuckle at Hauen’s sheepish declaration, pulling a dagger from a sheath to hand it to him. “Hold onto that until you can find something better.” The red head ordered, and Hauen nodded. “Stay close.”

Garrett’s lip twitched into a small frown, “Coming with us?”

Green eyes shot over to him, and Lily herself frowned. “As much as I’d prefer he stay somewhere away from the fighting, at the moment the safest place to be right now is with us.”

 

**XXVII**

“He’ll be fine.” Hauen hadn’t needed to turn his head to know that Lilian had stopped in the doorway to Garrett’s room, the eleven year old slowly closing his book to look up at his mother. “Kirkwall’s Champion is strong.”

Lily’s lips quirked into a small smile, but she couldn’t fully repress the image of Garrett – mischievous, cocky Garrett Hawke with a heart of gold – speared through by the Arishok and held in the air as he struggled to free himself, too stubborn to let himself die in a one-on-one battle to the death.

It was probably the curse of the ideals of humanity; she may have lived countless lives, but she couldn’t help the heart stopping worry she felt when those she loved were in dangerous and life-threatening situations. Hauen, on the other hand, was much more aloof and dispassionate about the deaths of those around him then she was; it still hurt him, but he shook it off a lot quicker than she did. _They were dead_ , he claimed, _mourn them if you will, but at the end of the day they’re already gone. Instead pay your attention to the living._

But then again, his connection to Death was much stronger than her own, and unlike her, her son would never get a proper childhood.

“How do you do it?” Lily asked, seating herself and staring at Hauen. “How do you always manage to play the child?”

Her son smiled, eyes half-mast as he stated at her with a timeless gaze and the amusement a child would have looking at an insect. “That’s where our curses differ,” He grinned, “You have a sense of the mortal lifespan, being able to live a number of years without our burden is a curse in its own right, but you have a much better grasp on the fragility of mortal years. I remember _every_ moment from the beginning, and every moment In Between.” The Guardian of the Deathly Hallows tilted his head, almost playfully, as the shadows seemed to darken around them, allowing Lily to faintly hear the whispering of the dead. “Years are meaningless, in the end, and we’ve had this conversation countless times – you just don’t remember, because you can’t remember the In Between.” He let his aura fade as he slumped lazily against his chair, smile suddenly full of child–like innocence, “My body may be young and weak as it is now, but I’m not acting like a child; when you loose sight of the meaning of time, things like age also loose their importance. Acting otherwise just _doesn’t matter anymore_.”

She released a small breath, and he smiled apologetically.

“Sorry about that, didn’t mean to frighten you.” Hauen offered, “I love you, you know that, right? I know it’s not easy, having a child you want to treat like a child, and getting me instead. I’m grateful to have the chance to know you in every life, even if it does end too early sometimes. Harry Potter would have loved to have the chance.”

“You’re my son,” She told him, “And you will always be my son.”

“Even if my soul is older than any mortal could possibly comprehend?”

“Even then.”

 

**XXVIII**

The next three years were tense and the hatred between the Templars the mages of the Circle continued to fester. Following the death of the Viscount, the Knight-Commander easily took control of the fractured city, turning Kirkwall into a Templar–controlled police state that she ruled with an iron fist, using her newly acquired power to further oppress the mages.

They watched with bated breath as the tension continued to boil, trying to keep innocents out from the crossfire; either from Templars blinded by power, or from mages who used the chance to incite more violence, even unintentionally.

(As the Champion, he had a voice amongst the people, but Hawke couldn’t do everything, and finally, the last straw came, and everything reached its boiling point.)

 

**XXIX**

“What are you planning to do, Anders?”

The apostate startled, one hand instinctively slapping his notes closed as he spun around, Justice burning under the surface and his heart pounded in his throat, and he watched with wide eyes as Hauen slunk out of the shadows.

Dressed in the leader armour Hawke had gotten him for his fourteenth birthday, his hair fastened with a crimson ribbon and a sword slung across his back, he looked surprisingly threatening. The kid was very much elven in the way he could move soundlessly, even with a blade most likely heavier than he was.

“ _Hauen_!” The Gray Warden gasped, “What are you doing here?”

He tilted his head as green eyes studied him, the jagged scar on his forehead pulling as he rose an eyebrow. “You’ve been acting strange.” Those unnaturally green eyes were indescribable as they peered through him, and Justice shuddered. “I think a part of you has noticed – you’re more Vengeance than Justice these last few years.”

Anders took a step back as Hauen approached, and Justice spoke, “ ** _What are you?_** ”

“I think you already know, Spirit.” The teenager said easily, “Whatever you think you’re doing, it’s going to cost thousands of lives.”

 _ **An agent of Death**_.

“I want to help you, _both_ of you.” Hauen stated, “I know a way to get Justice back to the Fade before it’s being is corrupted any further. But you need to let me.” Anders hesitated, and the kid continued, “I know you want to help mages, but it’s something you need to do slowly – society has been taught to fear magic, they need to be shown that it can be used just as effectively as a sword. Whatever you’re planning is just going to make the situation worse for everyone.” Green eyes carried a sort of immortal sense of being as the teenager spoke, wisdom beyond his physical years but no trace of a spirit or demon. “Let me help you.”

 

**XXX**

Garrett was tired.

He was sick and tired of the fighting, the arguments, Orsino’s arrogance and Meredith’s corruption, and Grand Cleric Elthina’s absolute refusal to step in and end it; it was all draining, and Garrett hated that, as the Champion, he was expected to take a side.

He let out a quiet sigh as deft fingers kneaded his tense shoulders and neck, and he heard Lily laugh above him.

“Hard day?” She asked gently, and Hawke buried his face in his hands.

“Meredith’s running a fear campaign against mages, Orsino’s refusing to cooperate and just making the situation _worse_ in general, and Elthina’s completely _useless_.” He groaned, “Just a regular day in Kirkwall, really.” Lily hummed, and Garrett continued, “Blood mages, and run away mages, abominations and Templars in general. And the Divine is thinking about an Exalted March against Kirkwall.”

“Everything is a mess.” The red head noble agreed, pressing a kiss against the back of his neck, “You’re running yourself ragged, love. If you give everything to the people, you’re not going to have anything left.” Gentle fingers curled through his hair, massaging his scalp as she spoke, and Garrett could have melted at the ministrations.

“I’m _exhausted_.” He admitted, “And _nothing_ I do is helping.”

Lily pulled away, moving around him so she could perch on his lap, and she gently guided his head to her shoulder as she wrapped him in a hug. He lifted his own arms, circling her waist while he pressed his nose against the junction of her neck.

“There’s going to be a war.” The dark haired man said quietly, “And we’re all going to be stuck in the middle of it.”

 

**XXXI**

He had finally met his sister, and she _betrayed_ him.

Fenris let Denarius’ dead body drop to the floor, furious eyes turning towards the ginger haired elven woman cowering away from the fighting, and green eyes, the same shade as his own and filled with fear, stared back at him.

“I had no choice, Leto.”

He strode forward, face twisting into a snarl as he growled, “Stop calling me that!”

“He was going to make me his apprentice. I would have been a magister.”

“You sold out your own _brother_ to become a _magister_?!” The knowledge hurt, that his older sister, the one he had used to play with in the courtyard, would betray him to become the kind of person who had hurt them and torn apart their family in the first place.

Her eyes flashed defiantly as she straightened, lifting her chin as she glared right back at him, “You have no idea what we went through! What I’ve had to do since Mother died!” Varania’s voice shook, “This was my only chance.”

He snarled, lyrium burning through his skin, “And now you have no chance at all.”

Varania flinched backwards, cowering once more as her green eyes flickered between him and the three others behind him. “Please… don’t do this. Please tell him to stop!”

“Fenris,” Hawke’s voice was thick, “ _Stop_. Don’t kill her.”

Fenris turned, “Why not? She was ready to see me killed.” Blue eyes were sad as the apostate stared back at him, there was a deep sense of pain there, of bitter longing and self-hatred, and Fenris’ rage filled mind managed to connect the pieces; Hawke had already lost both of his siblings, and his mother – he had had to kill his own brother to put him out of his misery. Stubbornly, Fenris pulled his gaze away from the man, “What is she to me other than just one more tool of the magisters?”

“I killed my brother,” Hawke spoke up, voice haunted. “I know what I’m talking about.”

“Elf…” Varric, another who had killed a brother by his own hands, started to speak. “ _Fenris_. Don’t. It won’t help, trust me.”

(And he let her go, her final words echoing in his mind as they left the Hanged Man, telling him he had competed for the markings, he had _fought_ for them. He had no family left now, he had burned his final bridge to his past, he had nothing now.)

(“You have us.” Hawke had said, Lilian at his side, and it had hurt Fenris to see the love in their eyes.)

 

**XXXII**

“I have nothing now – not even an enemy.”

“You have a future, Fenris.” Lily told him, and Fenris looked up at her words, glancing between the two mages in front of him as Hawke nodded in agreement.

“Means there’s nothing holding you back.” The dark haired man said with a small smile.

He considered it, humming under his breath, green eyes meeting blue, then green. “An interesting thought.” He admitted, then shook his head, “It’s just… difficult to overlook the stain that magic has left on my life. If I seem bitter, it’s not without cause.” The elf paused, one hand gripping his knee as he let his thoughts run free for just a moment, then he looked back towards the two apostates. “Perhaps it is time to move forward. I just… don’t know where that leads. Do you?”

Hawke looked at him, weighing his words before he glanced back towards Lilian, and when she nodded, he spoke, blue eyes turning to meet his own. “Wherever it leads, I hope it means we’ll stay together.”

Fenris smiled, “That is my hope, as well.” Then a small pang of guilt made him turn his gaze away, gently fingering the red scarf tied around his wrist. “We… have never discussed what happened between us three years ago.”

“You didn’t want to talk about.” Hawke said with an easy shrug, and Lily stared back at him silently.

“I felt like a fool. I thought it better if you hated me – I deserved no less.” He looked up, pushing himself to his feet. “But it isn’t better. That night… I remember it all, as if it were yesterday. I should have asked your forgiveness long ago.” He moved closer, “I hope you can forgive me now.”

“First we need to understand _why_ you left, Fenris.” Lily stated, speaking up before Hawke could open his mouth.

He looked down, “I thought about the answer a thousand times. The pain, the memories it brought up… it was too much. I was a coward.” Determined eyes slid back to the other two, and Fenris straightened his shoulders. “If I could go back, I would stay. Tell you how I felt.”

“What would you have said?” Hawke asked, and Fenris said what he had been feeling for over three years.

“ _Nothing_ could be worse than the thought of living without you.”

Lily beamed, and Hawke smiled playfully.

“Oh, I don’t know.” The man teased, “This might be fun to hold over you a while longer.”

“If there is a future to be had,” Fenris told them, “If will walk into it gladly at your side.”

 

**XXXIII**

“Now _you_ , I wasn’t expecting.” Lily paused as a familiar elf strode towards them, an amused grin on his face as he studied Garret, and Isabela laughed.

“I _thought_ I smelled Antivan leather.”

Zev burst into laughter, “Isabela! If it isn’t my favourite pirate wench!”

The rogue chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest as she grinned. “Shouldn’t you be dead by now?”

He barely looked to have aged a day in the last fourteen years, and Lily stared at him in surprise; she had honestly never thought that they’d ever cross paths again, but there they were.

“I could say the same, my dear. It seems we were both fortunate to find powerful friends, _no_?” Amber eyes scanned through the four in front of him, and stilled when they met hers. Zev blinked in surprise, before his mouth quirked into a grin, “Well, there seems to be _two_ familiar face today. As beautiful as ever, Lady Lily.”

Lily knew the eyes of Garrett and Fenris had both snapped towards her, but she ignored them in favor of staring back at her previous lover. “Been almost fifteen years.” She said easily, with a small quirk of her lips. “I think I’ve changed a little.”

The elf chuckled smoothly, before turning his gaze back to Garrett, “How do you do? My name is Zevran Arainai, adventurer and occasional assassin.” He bowed at the waist with a flourish. “I must admit, I was waiting for an assist by the Crows, not the mighty Champion of Kirkwall!”

Hawke eyed him suspiciously, “How do you know I’m the Champion of Kirkwall?”

“Slayer of Qunari, Deep Roads explorer, and may I say one fine specimen of manhood?” Zevran purred, “You underestimate your fame!”

Lily snorted, and Isabela laughed.

“You haven’t changed much either, Zev.” The red head said in amusement, and Zevran smirked.

“Why change perfection?”

“How do you all know each other?” Garrett asked, and Zevran shrugged.

“How does _anyone_ know Isabela?” The golden haired elf asked playfully, “Now, the beautiful Lady Lily and I? Well, he had _adventures_ together years ago.”

Lily met Garrett’s eye as he looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow, and she shrugged. “It was over fourteen years ago, I met him while on an adventure in Antiva… and he left me with an _unexpected_ surprise after we went our separate ways. This is our first time seeing each other since then.”

“ _No_!” Isabela gasped, grinned widely as she looked between Zevran and the red headed noble, “Don’t tell me- You and _Zevran_!“

Isabela had connected the dots.

“Yes.” Green eyes moved over to Zevran once more, “We need to talk about that.”

The assassin looked a little confused, but he nodded his head in agreement.

“ _Okay_ …” Garrett squinted for a moment, “We’ve been hired to find and capture you.”

“Aah, let me guess: a man named Nuncio has asked you to capture a dangerous killer, yes?” He chuckled, “What did he say this time? That I killed his wife? Butchered his parents? Sold his children into slavery? Zevran smirked, “Or did he tell you he was a lawman from Antiva, charged with apprehending a ridiculously handsome fugitive?”

“Something like that.”

The assassin grinned easily, “Bring me to Nuncio, if you wish, but I warn you: he surely intends to kill you.” He warned, “The Crows do not like loose ends, unlike myself.” Then with a small bark of laughter, he continued. “But you are a man who can clearly handle himself, yes? Why worry? So you can either tie me up, gag me, and then manhandle me… or you can take me to Nuncio. Which will it be, I wonder?”

“I vote the gag.” Lily said playfully, and Zevran chuckled.

“Still as feisty as ever!”

 

**XXXIV**

“So, you wanted to talk, yes?” Zevran asked, looking away from Garrett as Lily approached, and the noble nodded, her eyes shooting between the blond elf and the other three in the party.

“Yes,” She sighed, blowing bangs out of her face. “You have a right to know.”

“Sounds serious.” The elf joked.

“I have a son.” Lily stated bluntly, “He’s fourteen years old.” He swore violently in his native language, and the clearing went quiet. “He’s yours.”

“Are you certain.” He asked, and at Lily’s deadpan stare, he sighed. “Right. Well, this is awkward. _Ah_ ,” Rubbing the back of his neck, Zevran’s eyes skittered away from her to stare across the sand. “I must say, this situation was not what I thought was coming.”

“You have the right to know.” She said again, shrugging. “You don’t have to do anything further if you don’t want to, I understand I put you on the spot. His name is Hauen, and he’s fourteen – you can meet him, if you’d like, it’s completely up to you.”

“I could meet him?” He asked, and when she nodded, he continued. “I would like that.”

 

**XXXV**

The three adults looked up as Hauen slipped into the room, an odd expression on his face, and Garrett glanced between the teenager and Lily.

“So, uh, how was it?” He asked awkwardly, “The whole, meeting your father thing.”

Green eyes canted towards him, and Garrett twitched slightly as the kid studied him. “Strange,” He admitted with a sigh. “We’re going to keep in touch, write letters.” Hauen tilted his head slightly, “I don’t really need a father though, I’ve got all I need right here.”

 

**XXXVI**

“The fighting is going to be bad tonight.” Hauen was standing behind her, and Lily glanced at him over her shoulder. His eyes were serious, dark with the knowledge he had of whatever was coming. “I’m going to go to the Chantry, help with the evacuation.”

She nodded, sliding her sword into its sheath. “Alright, stay safe.”

Her son grinned, “You too.”

 

**XXXVII**

The Chantry exploded, and they watched in horror as it crumbled.

Lily screamed, scrambling to her feet, and Hawke managed to snap out of his shock enough to tackle to woman to the ground before she could make a break for the flaming rubble. She thrashed, desperate to throw the larger apostate off of her as he tried to keep her still.

“I-“ Anders sounded shocked, “I don’t _understand_.”

“Blondie,” Varric’s eyes snapped towards the horrified mage, there was guilt in the blond human’s eyes. “Did you have something to do with this?”

“N-no, I didn’t! I swear!” Anders said, eyes pleading, “I _didn’t_! Hauen found my plans, he told me it was a stupid idea, that Justice and I were bringing out the worst in each other – I _burned_ the plans!”

 _What did the kid have to do with anything_?

“ _HAUEN_!” Lily’s scream was desperate, renewing her struggling against Hawke to the point Fenris had to help keep her in place.

Varric put the pieces together.

“Was the _kid_ in there?” He was horrified, and Lily released a heartbreaking sob and went completely limp.

The world around them went silent, even the screams of pain and terror around them was muffled as they stared up as the flames grew even higher.

“ _There_!” Daisy was pointing, as a small figure staggered out of the flames, dragging something behind them, and Varric could barely make out the halo of singed golden curls before a blast of magic sent Hawke and Fenris sprawling, and Lily bolted forwards.

It was Hauen, and he was half-dragging a limp Grand Cleric Elthina with him.

 

**XXXVIII**

The Circle of Magi was burning as the ran into the fray, surrounded by bodies of dead Templars and mages, and Garrett tried to ignore it as he led his companions into the tower.

“Quickly! _Quickly_!” Orsino was shouting as the mages retreated furthur into the building, using his magic to throw the Knights away from him.

“First Enchanter!”

“Champion! You’ve _survived_ , thank the Maker! We must-“

“And here you are!”

Garrett turned, gripping his staff as Meredith, flanked by her Knight-Captain and a horde of more Templars strode into the chamber.

He and his friends were trapped in the middle once more, as Orsino strode down the stairs, pleading with Meredith to let them speak.

“I will entertain a surrender, nothing more.” The Knight-Commander ordered, “Speak, if you have something to say.”

Garrett stepped back, nervously eyeing the two leaders as he put himself between them and his companions and he heard Hauen mutter behind him that neither of them were going to come to an agreement.

“Revoke the Right of Annulment, Meredith, before this goes too far.” Orsino pleaded, “Imprison us, if you must. Search the tower. I will even help you. But do not kill us for an act we did not commit.”

“The Grand Cleric is unconscious, she could be dead, the Chantry destroyed, all by a mage. The people will demand retribution, and I will give it to them.”

“Hold on,” Garrett interrupted, as he herded Anders further into the protection of the group. “We don’t know _who_ destroyed the Chantry! Somebody is trying to frame him, you can’t just-“

“Your offer is commendable, Orsino,” Meredith spoke over him, and Hawke bristled; he could see the madness in her eyes, she wasn’t going to stop. “But it comes too late.”

“You _can’t_ do this!” Garrett snapped, and both Meredith and Orsino looked at him.

“So be it.” The Knight-Commander said, eerily calm. “You will share the Circle’s fate, Champion.”

 

**XXXIX**

“Here I am, about to defend these mages in a hopeless battle.” Fenris’ lips twitched in grim amusement, and Garrett chuckled. “You lead me to strange places, Hawke.”

“I’ll take you to stranger places than this, just watch.”

The elf grinned, “A tempting offer.” Then his gaze swung away, landing on where Lily stood talking quietly with Hauen, just out of hearing range, and Garrett could see his eyes soften. “I… may not get the chance to say this again…” Fenris sighed, meeting his stare with one of his own. “Meeting you and Lily… was the most important thing that ever happened to me, Hawke.” He stepped forward, placing one gauntleted hand against Garrett’s cheek, staring heatedly into his eyes. “Promise me you won’t die.” Fenris pleaded quietly, “I can’t bear the thought of living without you.”

Garrett leaned closer, “I don’t make that promise unless you do.”

“Nothing is going to keep me from you,” He vowed, “Not again.”

Garrett found himself being pulled down into a kiss, Fenris’ arms wrapped around his neck. It was heated, desperate, and Garrett placed his hands on the elf’s hips drawing him closer.

 

**XXXX**

Lily looked up as Fenris and Garrett made their way towards her, and Hauen shot her a playful grin before he scampered away towards Anders and Varric. She rolled her eyes, turning her attention to her lovers, “So this is it, the final battle.” Her lips quirked, “Honestly, I was sort of expecting more flames. A little underwhelming.”

Garrett snorted, “My apologies, fair maiden. I’ll try harder next time.”

“Now you’ve done it,” Fenris sounded amused, “Hawke’s not going to rest until he gives you the proper amount of destruction.”

“What can I say,” She spread her hands and shrugged, “I’m high maintenance. I expect only the finest end of the world situations and life threatening battles.”

The three shared a laugh, then sobered.

“I want the two of you to promise me something,” Lily stared at the two with serious green eyes, “If anything happens to me, I want you to look out for Hauen.” Both looked startled by the request, but she continued to stare them down.

As much as she knew that her son wouldn’t need anyone looking after him, the mother in her didn’t want him to be alone if he lost her.

“ _Please_.” Her hands clenched, and her lips thinned. “If I die, I don’t want him to be alone.”

 _Not again_.

(Lily doesn’t have the same connect to Death that her son does; she can’t tell when someone’s fated to die, and it leaves her feel vulnerable sometimes. She can’t imagine what he goes through, surround by people and knowing all the ways they could die, being given the choice to change a fate, with the possibility of leaving them at the mercy of something else, or letting them die. But not knowing is difficult, it’s scary, especially when someone purposely puts themselves into danger.)

Garrett and Fenris shared a look, she knows they’re contemplating how to answer her.

“We will.” Garrett said simply, and Lilian smiled.

She pulled them into a hug, locking herself between them, “I love you.”

 

**XXXIX**

Meredith and Orsino are dead, and the Circle tower burns as they sail away. There are somethings that even his meddling can’t change, but he had hoped that by separating Anders and Justice he would be able to save some lives before they were needlessly lost.

He had been wrong; somebody had tried to frame Anders by doing exactly what he had been planning on doing before his mind had cleared, and war was coming. Elthina was alive, for now, and hopefully she could influence some perceptions, but otherwise, he had barely changed a thing.

Green eyes watch silently, shifting between small clusters of people he had grown up around in this life, pausing on his mother as she leans against the exiled Champion’s arm, gently running her finger through Fenris’ white hair.

Thousands were going to die within the next decade, and he would do the job assigned to him in this life.

In a few years time, the Inquisition would rise, the Herald at its helm, and he would be there to witness the coming of a future.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that was long, hot damn.  
> Anyways, here's a Harry Potter/Dragon Age crossover that follows a reincarnated Lily Evans. It was originally meant to be Lily/Fenris, but whoops I gave Lily and Hawke too much chemistry, so it became a threesome.  
> Hope you enjoyed!


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